Welcome to my 1st blog. I've never been into this blogging thingy before, which i decided to embark on out of fun. And this is how I am gonna kickstart it.
In case you're wondering how come i chose Jedi; any member of the knightly order in Star Wars, which was trained to defend justice and peace in the universe(www.dictionary.com), its juz
simply because i have been an avid fan of it since young and started off when i saw the 1st Star Wars movie(dun noe how long ago it was).
...don't worry! Other than sometimes fantasizing about becoming a Jedi, I'm very normal otherwise. (just abit too normal)
THE MODEL
Tan Fei Fan
23-09-1987
North View Primary
Orchid Park Secondary
Yishun Junior College
Singapore Armed Forces
Citibank CCMU
OCBC SBL-SDP
SIM HE6
NTU Aerospace
Sunday, May 25, 2008
10:21 PM
Juz finished watching the 1st season of Gundam 00 and what can I say, it did live up to my expectation. In short, this story is basically abt this organisation, Celestial Being using force to start a war(which they call it armed intervention) against the 3 power blocs to force them to unite together and to eradicate all wars and bring abt lasting peace. Always like watching gundam because of the great fighting scenes, story plot and also how they portray a situation from many perspectives. Although I sorely miss the political atmosphere that was omnipresent in seed destiny, overall I'm still satisfied with it. Really looking forward for season 2(heard its gonna come out soon)
Have not been updating this blog for this few days as I have been busy with stuffs. Monday having dance lessons again(at last its back) at Danz people at Cuppage plaza(near Somerset MRT). The people there are damn gd la and till now my body is still aching from my 1st lesson. Too bad Raymond decided not to continue anymore and left only me, Yi Xiang and GK being the lousiest there I supposed. Tuesday having tuition lessons after my last day at work at OCBC(as usual the traveling journey sucks big time to go to that god damn wu loo place). And today I started my new job at SIM(surprisingly the recruitment agency can find the job and settle the necessary things for me in juz 1 day) although the traveling time is a bit far compared to my previous 2 working assignments, but at least the environment is not 2 bad there bah. The people there seems quite ok other than 1 minor incident that made me a but LL. Hope that I can really adapt to it quickly then at least my short stint there will be more enjoyable. (I'm suppose to work till end july, of course I'm not gonna work till then. Gd thing haven sign anything yet. Haha, shall see how it goes bah).
Well my eyes are beginning to feel heavy alr and gonna wake up early tml, shd post more abt my happenings next time and till then,
....................May the Force be with you
...the dark lord came, and left
Friday, May 23, 2008
10:41 PM
Well juz wondering how I'm gonna start my topic today. In short, it's juz simply that I'm pissed.
Went to work as juz like any other morning and then seating at that corner waiting for work to be passed down(was basically reading newspaper and slacking ard) and as usual Ling Ling is alr bogged down by work. On the other hand, Yy was only juz starting to eat her breakfast at 9am(that's the time we were supposed to start work btw)and like me doing nothing. Thought it was suppose to be juz like any other day again when suddenly Angela(the one in charge of me now) threw a bombshell on me and told me to report for work after lunch time at their OCBC Tampines office. My 1st reaction was like WTF, how can they do this to me? I have alr been transferred from margin dept to SDP and now this. Till now even as I am writing, my anger has still not been appeased. So this is how they treat temps; needing them when need arises and deem it a surplus after that, just simply discarding me at some place even though I got a few more pathetic days left to my 1mth contract date (and not even sure whether I will be extended-well I guess not). Well come to think of it, I shouldn't have done things so quickly since things are going to turn out this way.
Actually that is not the only reason I'm unhappy with the news. I has taken me quite some time to be able to adapt to my working environment(considering the fact that I'm not really gd at communicating with others and Charles left after abt 2 weeks) and this has to happen juz as I was able to acclimatise myself to it and it takes a great deal of effort to be able to do it in the 1st place. I can't simply imagine myself having to start adapting myself at a new environment all over again. I mean I'm not against being thrust to an unfamiliar environment as this is part and parcel of life(we all have to move on to the different paths that have been carved for us) but all this change juz came too abrupt and sudden for me. So in the end, I juz took my own sweet time there and after reaching did not really talk to anyone(except maybe Charles), juz putting on that damn tu lan face of mine and started immersing myself in my work(juz simply some time consuming brainless data checking which will be send to the warehouse after that; like so what if it is wrong when they are going to condemn the whole damn thing). Well didn't talk to the in charge there whether my services would be extended but I dun really care abt it now and juz feel that its a pity that I could not work at Raffles place longer; I think I could have become gd friends with Yy and ling ling. Hope that we can still keep in contact and will miss the days when we tuang together.
Also juz receive an email that my CN Yang scholarship application got rejected. Oh well, so be it . What's another bad news for me now(though I kindda expected it). Makes me wonder how come the world is so hmmmmmmm..... dark(I'm beginning to dislike it more and more now). Guess I'm going to have a hard time to sleep tonight and till then,
Wish them all the best and god bless.
...the dark lord came, and left
Thursday, May 15, 2008
9:26 PM
Well went to the CN Yang Scholarship interview just a few days back and expectedly I think I flunked it like nobody business la. I really wasn't even thinking of getting it in the 1st place but anyway I was still pissed with myself with how the whole thing turn out. Fully understanding myself that I'm not in the same league as those HC and RJ students(it was alr a miracle that I got shortlisted for it), I was only going there just to experience how tough the interview will be like.
Was a bit shocked when I reached there(everybody was wearing formal attire and I was the only one in T shirt and jeans. hghhhhhh heck at least it's way better than berms and slippers). And then when I went in, I saw Ho Fai's(my Bmt mate) dad, Prof Leong there. Sian, he was the chief interviewer of it and I was thinking how small can this world be. His 1st question was basically asking whether after I ORDed, did I read up on the A level stuff. The answer is of course no and b4 I have any chance to explain myself, he started to blah blah abt how potential candidates need to have a very strong foundation in math and science and so on to be able to be qualified for it. After that they asked 2 O lvl qn which really owned me and till now, I am still frustrated with myself for not being able to ans both of it. The 1st qn was basically asking how airplanes can take flight and then the 2nd qn was to find out the angle of a triangle in a semi-circle and explain why. After that, in my mind I was thinking I'm screwed and the whole thing took abt 20 min. I'm just hoping now that I will not be the most stupid aerospace engineering student when school starts and then I think its really high time for me to start revising my A lvl stuffs liao.
Too end it off, like to intro to ur a song by 李玖哲 and 李冰冰, 预感 from the movie Forbidden kingdom. Found it when I was searching the net for songs actually. Like the voice of 李玖哲 in this song. Hope U all enjoy and till then.......
May the Force be with you.......
...the dark lord came, and left
Saturday, May 10, 2008
2:16 PM
Have u ever been in a situation where u are just simply frustrated of yourself for not being able to do sth? I'm not talking abt angry being unable to do things that are not ordinary; like having powers the same as the people from the TV series Heroes. I am alr old enough to differentiate between what is reality and fantasy(although sometimes I still wish I'm a Jedi). Today I have a really bad day in driving(I think I really suck at it). The whole lesson I was literally learning how to move from rest at a upslope position(which actually involves stepping on accelerator using ur right leg, left leg to release the clutch to a certain level and then hands to move the handbrake). I mean this is the dun noe how many lessons that I have been through and I still can't get it right and worse, the stupid car die on me once again and ended up kpkpkpkpkp.......by the driving instructor. Wasn't really bothered by that though, just that I was really pissed with myself for not being able to do such a simple task. Come to think of it though, there are also many instances where I feel the same way too like why am I not as smart as some other people. Haiz, why dun god make me smarter a bit, if not, then I may not feel so retarded now la.
Well enough of this rhetorical self-blaming, here are some photos that I received from Jannelle a few days back(sure took a long time to reach me but at least I'm still not forgotten). Really the Quan Jia Fu of my dept back in Citibank(brings back memories......)
On a side note, went all with Elaine and my sec school friends yesterday and then just realised that she is actually flying off to Canada today for a 2 month exchange program. Knew that she's going to fly off soon by didn't expect it to be that fast. Haiz, guess for the time being, my sec sch clique as just gotten smaller again and will miss her but really hope that she enjoyed her stint there(getting a bit jealous now). Till then, may the force be with her.
...the dark lord came, and left
Thursday, May 8, 2008
8:25 PM
Have actually been wondering this question for the past few days. Well it came upon when I was on the train on my way to work. When I stepped into the as usual crowded train, I was observing the people on it and that almost everyone in office wear was displaying that very shagged look and their eyes were literally lifeless as if their soul were gone.
What I'm trying to say is that when I look at them, this niggling question suddenly came to my mind,"What's my purpose in life?" Again, I look at them, trying to figure out the rationale behind the looks on their faces. Does it implies that they are actually dreading to go to work? If so, then why did they choose their present job in the 1st place?( I mean u should be choosing a job that u have a passion in, like ur dream job or sth close to it since u are going to spend the next major part of ur life on it after ur studies, and that of course it muz be somehow related to what u really wannna do in life). Well speaking of which, was talking with Charles the other day and he was mentioning to me how common it is to see people literally clocking OTs for the rest of their lives and I'm talking abt for the next 20-30 years. Wow, its like they really like this job to wanna spend so much time on it? I doubt so, its more like that they are trying to earn that extra money. Back to it, looking at those facial lines that seem to be ravaged by the onslaught of time, I realise that the reality of life have set in for them. Probably they really did have dreams, but that was before, bread and butter issues and the need to support their family now makes dreams to remain that way. Will I be like them 10 years down the road, with soulless eyes looking forward to the start of day at work? I really hope not and that I will be able to do sth that I wanna do. For more than once, I have ask myself what is the thing that I want? Well, to start off in the short term, I'm looking forward to Uni life and hopefully at last to be able to fall in love and then maybe to become a research defence engineer(my ideal job) but what about after that or is there anything else I really want? I'm at a loss now. Like to share with u all a simple test that Jimmy share with me when I was undergoing training at Citibank that can help u find out what u really want. Take a piece of paper and fold into half. Use ur right hand, write down what u hope to achieve in life on the right side. After that repeat the steps, but this time round using ur left hand instead and write on the left hand side. U will actually be surprised that what u written on the left hand side of the paper differs from the right hand side and that the things that u have written on the left hand side are what u really want deep down inside u.
Well, it works for me though. Although I had done it quite a long time ago and that I pretty forgotten what I have written, I still remember that I written the word 'happy' on the left hand side. Till now, I'm still surprised by why I wrote that down. Probably, I'm just an ordinary guy. Haiz, think I will just take that. U may try this too and u may just be surprised that what u really want in life may actually be very mundane. Gotta go sleep alr. Till then, May the Force guide u to the path that u wanna be in and not be lost in the harsh truth of reality. Nitez....
...the dark lord came, and left
Sunday, May 4, 2008
3:26 PM
Dun really noe what's going on with me that I only have the mood to blog now. Guess its just an excuse that I am too lazy to do so bah. On friday, met up with Yi Xiang, Janelle, Emily and Joel for lunch. Come to think of it, it has been ard a mth since I last saw them(excluding Yi Xiang though). Well we basically chatted about how's life going on for each of us. Seems that life at Citi still the same, except that Cheryl just quitted a few days back(not unexpected though; still remember the days when she will complain to me abt so and so who refuses to make payt and screaming all the while). For the 3 of them left, as usual they are still contemplating abt quitting. After that, we all went back to office and it was kindda funny to see the shock faces of the perms when they saw me there, especially Angela and Maen who literally jump up of their seats. Talk some crap with them and before I knew it ard 15 min have passed when Yi Xiang was like wanting to go alr. Too bad we both were supposed to rush down to NTU for some medical checkup and therefore cannot continue the conversation with them and I did not even have a chance to talk to every of them. Oh my god, I'm missing the days there again, gotta stop thinking abt it or I will be wondering to myself again why did quit in the 1st place. We then travel by train and bus to NTU, it was freaking far loh, can't really imagine how much time I will spent next time traveling there. As we were unsure of where is the medical centre, we alighted off a few bus stops then we were supposed to and ending up needing to walking up and down the various slopes(can't they just level the ground?) under the merciless afternoon sun. Till now then I realise that NTU is like a god damn freaking big place la(gotta really explore that place next time) and also the ppl that we approach for directions weren't really helpful at all and that there are a lotta china ppl there. It was like until 4pm(we basically spent ard 40 min walking) did we then reach there and we were like 1 of the last few to register. Thankfully we were still able to do so or else I'm gonna kpkpkpkp..............can't imagine having to make another trip down there again for the checkup and really have to do some homework next time whenever I am going to some place that I haven been to b4.
Well, this pretty sums up what happened to me that day and till then, May the Force Be with you
On a side note, went all with Elaine and my sec school friends yesterday and then just realised that she is actually flying off to Canada today for a 2 month exchange program. Knew that she's going to fly off soon by didn't expect it to be that fast. Haiz, guess for the time being, my sec sch clique as just gotten smaller again and will miss her but really hope that she enjoyed her stint there(getting a bit jealous now). Till then, may the force be with her.
