Welcome to my 1st blog. I've never been into this blogging thingy before, which i decided to embark on out of fun. And this is how I am gonna kickstart it.
In case you're wondering how come i chose Jedi; any member of the knightly order in Star Wars, which was trained to defend justice and peace in the universe(www.dictionary.com), its juz
simply because i have been an avid fan of it since young and started off when i saw the 1st Star Wars movie(dun noe how long ago it was).
...don't worry! Other than sometimes fantasizing about becoming a Jedi, I'm very normal otherwise. (just abit too normal)
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
Used to like immersing myself in books, dramas....... that's when i can bring myself out of the state of mind i'm momentarily in and just forget about whatever happiness, unhappiness state i'm in
increasingly though, that translates into dance and at times running that i can do that. Perhaps there are some unique connection that release of physical exertions does to the spiritual state of mind...
this year hasn't been exactly smooth sailing but it really does provide time to take a step back from the daily grind, the rat race to sit back to ponder the what, the why i'm doing certain things in life. I don't really have the answer to all this....
at las, its not all about work though.... because of this, mixed feelings i have each time with the start and end of weekdays... yes there will be growth out of this situation. will something fruitful happens out of this? i really hope so but the mind does not sync with the heart. of course i do not want to be inside that bubble again, with these endless loop replaying in my head. for someone like me, its not really easy for me to consider someone to become a SO. i also do know this saying" its not that you are not good enough, its just that the someone does not see the goodness in you". Whatever happens, whether it does or does not, my wish is that i will come out a happier, a better person.... yup that's my wish for this year!
well i'm not sure what i'm ranting abt here, perhaps i just needed an avenue to just rattle off:)
...the dark lord came, and left
Saturday, September 5, 2020
"A dark green snake appear in the middle of my living room. As I step forward, it make its way towards me. I looked at its eyes.... but strange enough there was no fear; I mean it does not make sense isn't it? There was calmness within me.... and as it's fangs was making its inevitable way towards my neck, time seems to have slowed.......its eyes seem somewhat familiar and my thoughts drifted......."
My alarm rang, its strange...... Strange because, I don't really recall what happens in my dreams and also because I rarely dream if ever.... Is this a premonition as what is mentioned online? Perhaps a sign of growth ? or a sign of my growing feelings of fear, jealousy and deceit?
No matter what happens, I hope that today's me is a better and more mature person than i was years back and that I can find it in me to attain what I truely desire
...the dark lord came, and left
