Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Unfamiliar faces playing familiar roles in one's everyday interactions in life.
This seemingly minor observation happens day in day out and one will wonder, who are the constants then in one's life.
To phrase the question more correctly, how does one want for his/her the constants to be in his/her life.
Truth is, we are living in a non ideal world. Unfortunately we do not always get what we wished for.
Just like how dots are connected by lines, both parties should somehow feel connected. It cant be just a singular directional arrow and even if not so, there so many circumstances in life that more than often results a constant possibility becoming a non constant.
Perhaps a simpler term for that terminology is Fate. Its undeniable that people have some control over their constants by simply taking the first step out for instance but then the 'but' comes in, the fear, procrastination, the inaction, whichever one calls it.
Ultimately how does one start/continue to have certain constants in life starts from within oneself.....
It's You :)
...the dark lord came, and left
Saturday, November 18, 2017
How do I even start this..... ok here goes. I'm conflicted. the part where the mind and heart does not seem to agree with one another. countless times my minds conjures scenarios of us spending time together... even when i was out with someone else. but there seem to be an imaginary wall thats between us. Truth i wished to see the real you. you left such a strong impression in me the first time we met that it was as if it happened yesterday even though it was close to more than a year ago. I know i was at fault for not taking my chances more intensely back then.... i had my own insecurities, my inhibitions and yes i know my excuses....
Much has happened for the past year, coupled with overseas work that made me ponder about a lot of things in life. Although i didnt showed it, i was so happy that we could meet up for the first time. As usual i was tongue tied... so many things that i wanted to say but did not. And yea im kicking myself for not making the occasion a better one
i so hope i can get to know u better, but the imaginary wall which i spoke about earlier......
im tired, conflicted. conflicted that everything thats going on in my mind could just have been my pure self delusional thinking and nothing more than that. I have seen before where that leads me too.
sometimes, i really hate the way i process things in my mind before i decided on something. although i have accepted the way i am, its just so frustrating.
...the dark lord came, and left
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Rain brought about the first streaks of dawn.... what an apt description to the state of my heart at the start of the day. This dichotomy between what the heart feels and what the mind thinks is frustrating. So many questions.... and how do I go abt unraveling them. So many possibilities running through my head right now.
It’s said one would eventually be rewarded if he’s willing to risk it but what happens if I fall inside the bubble of hope that I have created myself all over again
The storm will pass and the rain will stop...
At least I know the one outside will.A
...the dark lord came, and left
Saturday, November 4, 2017
I’m an idiot and I know it. Why didn’t I go over and create more possibilities. No more self blaming ever. Take courage and yea, be a man:(
...the dark lord came, and left
