Welcome to my 1st blog. I've never been into this blogging thingy before, which i decided to embark on out of fun. And this is how I am gonna kickstart it.
In case you're wondering how come i chose Jedi; any member of the knightly order in Star Wars, which was trained to defend justice and peace in the universe(www.dictionary.com), its juz
simply because i have been an avid fan of it since young and started off when i saw the 1st Star Wars movie(dun noe how long ago it was).
...don't worry! Other than sometimes fantasizing about becoming a Jedi, I'm very normal otherwise. (just abit too normal)
Saturday, November 18, 2017
How do I even start this..... ok here goes. I'm conflicted. the part where the mind and heart does not seem to agree with one another. countless times my minds conjures scenarios of us spending time together... even when i was out with someone else. but there seem to be an imaginary wall thats between us. Truth i wished to see the real you. you left such a strong impression in me the first time we met that it was as if it happened yesterday even though it was close to more than a year ago. I know i was at fault for not taking my chances more intensely back then.... i had my own insecurities, my inhibitions and yes i know my excuses....
Much has happened for the past year, coupled with overseas work that made me ponder about a lot of things in life. Although i didnt showed it, i was so happy that we could meet up for the first time. As usual i was tongue tied... so many things that i wanted to say but did not. And yea im kicking myself for not making the occasion a better one
i so hope i can get to know u better, but the imaginary wall which i spoke about earlier......
im tired, conflicted. conflicted that everything thats going on in my mind could just have been my pure self delusional thinking and nothing more than that. I have seen before where that leads me too.
sometimes, i really hate the way i process things in my mind before i decided on something. although i have accepted the way i am, its just so frustrating.
...the dark lord came, and left