Have been following the videos of few chinese malaysian youtubers recently. It dawn onto me that why do they seem so energetic and bright on screen even though they keep on mentioning that they always put in ungodly hours into their craft. Being a dancer myself, I can fully understand the hard work that goes in behind the scenes that are often not privy to the eyes of the audience often all just for the few minutes of fame in front of the screen. I dare say it takes more than just passion to be able to keep on doing what you are doing. They did pointed out that it was their love to create their own content that made that continue what they are doing till now. Money, fame was never their motivation (well of course I would think that they are fairly popular now..)

I often find that in Singapore (maybe its just me feeling this way), the first thing people ask about their job is typically what their remuneration is to the point i feel that money seem to be the only metric that sets your job apart from others..... Growing up in a not very well to do family to now drawing a middle class salary (I guess since I'm still single), money is important. But to me its only important to the point when you are able to meet your basic needs (food, accommodation etc) and some indulgence that I do every now and then (travels etc). I have to say that I'm one that do not really have any indulgence in the first place although I do like to get a flat soon and car (hmmmm). Job satisfaction is something I value a lot and yea I have been finding that I'm actually dragging myself for quite a long while now and yet I'm stumped why am I still where I am now. Procrastination, lazy, comfortable, you name it. I'm not really finding any excuse for myself for that....... It's so easy to fall through the cracks and be happy and comfortable with where you you are at. Watching the videos made me realise what makes one charming/sparkle is when you see someone putting their heart and soul into doing something which they believe in. I know that deep down, I have already long lost what initial spark that I have went I first started out. 

Sometimes I really wished to go back to the days when I have so much drive and grit towards what I want to achieve in my career and the sense of camaraderie from my now ex colleagues that started out with me. The OTs spent were just so much more bearable because all these were spent with your....